9 Things Teenagers Don’t Want To Hear From Adults

I guess it comes with the territory, but every adult in the world seems to think they have some secret knowledge that will crack the youth. They attribute their expertise on the subject of teenagers to an accumulation of years and experiences.

Apparently, the magic of time has given them a compete and all-knowing understanding of how we should feel, think and behave during all hours of the day. However, all beliefs should be challenged – and I for one enjoy setting grown-ups straight.

Here are 9 things that make teenager cringe.

“Listen to your parents; they’re always right.”

Wrong. There is only one Yoda. Everyone else in the universe is bound to be wrong sometimes. I know it might surprise some adults to hear this, but us, teenagers are not always angsty, impulsive and inexperienced. Sometimes we know even better than you do – Give us a chance.

“This should be the best time in your life. Enjoy it.”

So… You’re saying that my life has peaked at 15? Excuse me if I refuse to believe that. I will enjoy all the world has to offer on my own terms, thank you very much. Otherwise I might become a teenage runaway, and you wouldn’t really like that would you?

“Wait till you get to the real world.”

Okay. Hold on, just one second. Are you saying that this is in fact NOT the real world? Hold up. Is this the matrix? Did we somehow transport to Narnia without me knowing?

Sure, I may not be working year-round in an office, but Algebra isn’t exactly a walk in the park. My life is real enough: a package deal that’s all inclusive with drama, responsibility and obligations. Don’t belittle me.

“You’re a teenager. This is just a phase.”

How can you possibly predict the future? Are you some sort of psychic being who sees into the future? If so, why don’t you tell me how to fix this world. I am currently in a process of creating an identity for myself that isn’t defined by the people around me. This phase might just stick. Even if it doesn’t, please just let me experience it without constant judgment.

Hint: The more you hate it, the longer it will last.

“Why don’t you tell me anything anymore?”

There are two possible explanations for our ‘lack of communication’:

Explanation 1: All I’ve done in the last few weeks is school work and watch re-runs of my favorite TV shows. I apologize for not giving you a play-by-play, but there is simply nothing of significance for me to be telling you.

Explanation 2: You’re being nosy and it’s annoying. NO amount of torture will make me spill my secrets.

“I was your age once too, you know.”

Yes, of course you were. There is no denying that you are in fact a human being. I understand the progression of time, but just because you were a teenager once does not mean you can relate to my experiences or how I’m currently feeling. Even if you have gone through similar things (in the past), you have been tainted by the knowledge of adulthood.

Sorry, not sorry.

“I’m your friend.”

Nope. Not gonna happen. Don’t get me wrong, I like you and all… but we are not friends. I think that comes with the whole power dynamic of the family.

If you give me rules, you are not my friend.

If you make me wake up in the morning, you are not my friend.

If you make me wash the dishes, we are DEFINITELY not friends.

Please, stop.

“You don’t know what’s best for you.”

Okay… and who does? You? Please refer to ‘Things Teenagers Don’t Want To Hear’ numbers one through seven. I know what I want. I know who I am. Don’t set limitations on what I should do or who I should be. It’s not yourselves.

“Grow up.”

Look here parents, we are growing up whether we like it or not. We love you (ever so dearly) and absolutely appreciate the unconditional support. Sometimes I think you forget that the mistakes we make are actually the perfect way for us to learn right from wrong. It’s a process, be patient.