* We’re always cold The harmattan and rainy season is unfavourable on us. Without much fat on our bones, we’re always shivering no matter the heavy clothes we put on.
* We always get reminded that we’re skinny – People always feel the need to let us know we’re skinny, as if we don’t already know. Like they just HAVE to break the news to us in case we forgot. Our family members are most guilty of that..
* Our pants get baggy midday and in the flap – Sometimes we put on some certain form of clothing but due to the stretching of the fabric, our pants are wide-leg by noon and the flap is stretched in a manner that makes it seems we have a p*ni*.
This makes me sad. How’d my jeans get 2 sizes bigger in 6 hours?? Then we have to wash the pants to get them back tight. And the cycle repeats itself.
* We make terrible cuddle buddies – Lack of meat on our bones make certain joints and parts of us sharp like a knife, like elbows, knees and chins. Have you ever placed your head on his chest and he goes "Jesus CHRIST! You just stabbed me with your cheek bone.”
* Gusts of winds are dangerous – Have you ever had to battle a strong gust of wind that almost swept you into traffic? And then when it's raining, it becomes a struggle to stay standing with an umbrella on a rainy windy day. We have to hold our umbrella with both hands! Unless you find a pole or something heavy to hang on to, our umbrella tends to turns inside out.
* People pick us up to test their strength – Skinny girls get picked up randomly by people who want to see how strong they are. Some guys would no longer go to the gym to carry weight when they have a skinny neighbour next door.
* We can't give blood – We want to do good in the world and give back sometimes. So when we go to donate blood, we often get met with side-eyes from doctors who feel we missed our direction.
* We have to prove to folks that we eat – The assumption that you have an eating disorder, as if looks can diagnose mental health. People ask us countless times “Do you eat?” We feel pressured to clean our plates when we eat with others. When we don’t, people around us say, “This is why you have refused to add weight!.”
* We can’t exercise without being judged – We tell people that we want to start exercising because it's healthy and they look at us up and down as if we are mad.
And then they ask the dreaded question, "Do you want to disappear?"
*Always. Needing. Belt Or our jeans would never fit. We even need belt with leggings.
*Wearing the same size bra you wore in junior secondary school. It's every annoying that we've been wearing the same bra size since JSS2.
*You ALWAYS have to add more holes to your belts. We always need custom made holes in our belts because the last hole is never tight enough!
Sellers at Ikeja under bridge keep harassing us. To come in from 'brrreast and nyash drugs' and those in Yaba harassing us to buy butt pads and foam bra when we walk past.
The conductor of the bus ALWAYS makes us sit on a stool between the driver's seat and first passenger seat because he feels we don’t need a lotta space. By the time we get to our destination, we’ve been assaulted by the hardness of the chair. WICKEDNESS!
*No songs about us. Nigerian musicians never EVER sings songs about how hot skinny girls are. Only how hot curvy girls are.
You'll never hear lyrics like, "I like the way she dey whine her flat nyash. Her agbalumo b00bs dey make my head kolo. I like the way everybody just dey turn as she dey waka with that her tiny laps. Her small waist dey do me strong thing oh. Baby be mine and I go protect you from breeze."
There are COUNTLESS skinny girl problems! Which ones did I miss?
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