15 Ways To Get A Job In 2 Weeks

If you are looking for a job and you can follow these steps, I GUARANTEE YOU, you will get a job in 2weeks..... ITS a GUARANTEE... 1) Godly foundation:-  This is where everything starts from friends.... God makes unreasonable ways if you keep your eyes glued on Him.... What I do today is not what I ever planned on doing... I was timid and uninspiring... But because God directed my steps, I got a job 2 weeks after NYSC, changed Jobs 2 times in 2 years and then Retired to start my own thing's'... Its possible BRO.... Now this is the start but definately its just the beginning.. 2) Don't accept unemployment:-  Don't be a statistic, you know what I mean "70percent of Nigerian Graduates are unemployable" that's just BULLSHIT who gave them the measuring tape... Who told them that, that's nonsense, don't accept, don't take it, its PUKE!!!! Pure PUKE.... Men!!! That's annoying like very annoying... In local language "THEIR FATHER" no no like Ay the comedian "THEIR DAD" do you know what unemployable means, its like saying "70percent of Nigerian ladies can't get pregnant" who put that to test... Ladies will just be like WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!! That's how you should treat unemployment... Don't accept it, we clear... GEWD 3)Treat Finding a Job like a New Job:-  Dude, seriously, your are never out of Job, if you got laid off, you just finished NYSC, or want to change Jobs, treat finding a Job like a new JOB.... During my NYSC... I googled everything, How to write a CV dude, Good CV template, top industries to work in, job test template... It was work, but that's the new Job.... Pray Hard and work like a MACHINE BRO/SIS.... Take it personal and leave the haters and naysayesrs... The only people that condemns the HUstle are the ones who have given up on the HUSTLE themselves.... 4) USE YOUR POWER-BASE:-  If You just started a SUIT company, who are the first 20 people you will sell it too? Yeah Got ya!!!! If you are thinking of some people right now those persons needs to know that you are looking for a Job... Don't depend on their response but get noticed.... People are looking for serious people, be the 1st on their mind when they think of someone to recommend.... DUDE if you can't do this.... Its Official... You are arrogant.... (Men that was hard).... Am just freaking real here..... I warned Ya!!!! 5)GET A JOB (Any one you can get)!!!:-  When I started, I got a MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING JOB...... Jeez!!!!!!!! Whew!!!! I dropped it.. Yeah Dude, that's it, no interview, no job test just walked into the meeting, loved the challenge and gave the last 8k in my account to buy and sell their products.... I was 24years, scared to death and hated sales... Now am ____ years old (Young dude) and I just LOVE SALES..... Its Revenue... I learnt the skill that I use in running my 1st business and getting started on the 2nd.... Its not JAPAN MATHEMATICS, its a skill and its learnable... All I knew was, I was Hungry(passionate), I had to pay some bills, I wasn't getting called to interviews and I only had just 8k left in my account... Bro I had no choice I jumped on the meat like an Hungry WOLF.... If your choosing between Jobs!!!!! Someone is BREASTFEEDING Ya.... Remember JOB is a vehicle to your life's vision 6) Stop Listening to Negative people/press/messages :- I Was watching the Tv and I saw the crowd of politician at Akwa Ibom that defected from PDP to APC!!!! Seriously, this people are Jokers men... See I just made a decision, the only reason why am listening to the news is to make the news.... I have never switched on my fine, slushy, slim TV to sEe A Headline like... " THE government created 10million jobs Come Grab your own"....... All the TV stations just Vomit impossibilities and chaos everywhere, don't take that vomit, its time to cook your own dish so you can pass your own customized fart (does that make sense) buh u get warrai mean... Quit listening dude 7) Don't rely on a CV:-  CV is good, yeah very Good but CV is paper... You are the CV, in your CV what you are selling is yourself, in today's world everyone has got a certificate in something, so in your CV sell you, that's the way I got my JOB at the bank, I told them about the number of products I sold per month at my Multi Level Marketing, I gave them numbers.... Sell yourself, Sell yourself Hard, Sell yourself so Hard it freaks them OUT!!!!!... If you can't do that then you are not sold on yourself, you doubt your capacity.... That means you need a coach..... Remember.. You are the CV dude, make a big claim in that paper and get infront of the Freaking BOSS... 8) Don't depend on online recruitment:- Practically true, I see young people with massive energy, throwing their CV's up and down on the internet Only, hoping it would land them a great job.... FUNNY... When I heard that my Bank was recruiting then, I carried my flat leg out of my house and went straight to submit the CV in person dude.... I told Ya!!!! You are the CV.... That's old school I know.. But its the real deal... It took me only 4 weeks to land that JOB... Men I sold myself to the gatekeepers, I sold hard, I got to the secretary and I was just pitching my potentials, they called me the next week No be play O... Infact at this juncture, you have to break your dependence on everybody (social media dad, mum, your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, senior brother e.t.c). "He who feeds ya controls ya!!!!"... Put on FUJI HOUSE OF COMMOTION thinking MEN!!!!... You are a Father/Mother with like 20mouths to feed.. Bring that Hustle Mindset into you... Yeah men, its that serious... No one will take you serious untill you start taking yourself serious... 9) AIM for the Top guy not the Human Resource:-   It's always easy to spot the decision maker when you are in an interview, His/Her sitting posture, when he/she starts talking everyone else allows Him/Her to speak, He is in control dude!!! Aim for Him... At my second Job interview the panel said No to me.... About 6 No's but I pitched the Top guy and and only Him said yes... It don Marra How many Yesses you are getting, if you are not getting the right Yes, then dude, you missed it... Aim for the BOSS... TARget the BOSS men... There is always a Boss. And also treat everyone like a king, I went to a place to submit a proposal for training and the guy at the reception who attended to me was the freaking younger brother of the MD. He just took me straight up... Love everyone like your life depends on it from the Gate to the TOP.. 10) IT'S NOT AN INTERVIEW "FRIEND" ITS A SALES MEETING:- At this Juncture let's talk about the Interview, now from now on going on forward (bad grammar) don't call it inteview again NEVER its a sales meeting dude.... Let me hear you say SALES!!!!!! Yeah, the louder you shout the Louder your miracle... (Lolzz).. Someone else can call it interview but as for you call it sales.. At that interview talk about the future of the company as regards to your applied position, using your past Job as a reference if you have none use your NYSC job. Talk in statistics, Talk with confidence. After my 2 months at my MULTI LEVEL marketing job I got a job in the bank, at the bank the man asked. Inteviewer:- you studied marine Biology how will you add value to our Bank... Sales Guy (ME):- Wow that's a great question, first of all I have always loved to work with numbers and this financial institution offers me that.. Finance is the new economy He that can't think in finance will be left behind... So am here to add to the banks finance Interviewer:- that's good... 11) SALES PITCH:-  Sales isn't discussion, its not chatting or gisting its the ability to think in revenue... And close down the freaking interviewer.... So polish your sales pitch, that means make a big claim at the interview... Pls I beg you in the name of God don't say words like I can work under pressurre, am very hardworking... PITCH THEM with words like I'll increase the performance and productivity of the post / department am placed in by at least 15percent... If they ask how are you sure, tell them I have an unbelievable work ethic and giving me this Job will be one of the best decision this organization will be making, at least an increase in productivity of 15percent at the said post/department is GUARANTEED..... That's a pitch men!!!! Got it.... Dude... You should pay me for this O, when you get the job I will be waiting for my commision 12) BRING REVENUE TO THE INTERVIEW:- The reason anyone wants you to work with them is to solve a problem so, link how that problem you will be solving will add to their revenue, Infact revenue is english, how will it add more (Money, Ego, Kudi, Owo) to the organization... Every employer jumps for Joy on the inside once they see that this person is helping to think about revenue not just salary!!!! If you do this well you will negotiate your salary.. At my second Job, after I finished my pitch I told the OGA AT THE TOP that I needed an increase in the salary offer cause of my distance to work.... Men!!!! He responded sharpaly... When you talk in revenue it gives you capacity to negotiate your pay!!!! 13) Don't talk Negatively about your past employer:- when you are asked, don't go on lamenting about your poor working condition from your past place of work.... Say all things nice about them.... Say it with conviction, if asked why are you then changing that place of work, refer to your sales pitch of work ethic and high sense of productivity which motivates you to seek a place of Higher challenges and stronger organizational vision which the present company fits the profile succinctly.... (Smiles).... 14) FOLLOW UP:-   Follow up, Follow up, Follow up.... You must follow up to the level where they think you are desperate... (Yeah dude)... A friend of mine was interviewed for a Job, with all His sales pitch and others, he was declined the Job.... But dude he freaking followed up the company, he kept calling in asking why he wasn't picked, because he knows that He is best suited for the position. After 3 days the person that was picked for the Job called in sick, she was immediately replaced with my friend. That's the power of follow up, follow keeps you as 1st in the mind of the interviewer all the time... 15) Target your preferable company and repeat the steps  If you start from an unpreferable company or industry and you want to change to another, just target that company and repeat the steps.. Its that simple. You need confience to get this done, to believe in your capacity and pitch yourself... In doing this, have a daily confession on confidence that reflects your personal potentials... For example I make confessions like Greater is He that is me than He that is in the world, I am 1 billion times bigger on the inside than on the outside, greater is the Faith in me than the fear in the world.... I believe in you, God's believes in you, it will be a disservice to you, your family and to God not to believe in yourself.... Thanks for consuming this long epistle.... Give ur testimony and don't for get to send me my commission.. (Lolzz)... Blessed life ahead...